The Beatles

For better or worse, popular music today is vastly different than in 1964. I like the Beatles just fine, but if I were given the choice to listen to a new Modest Mouse album or Sgt Peppers, 4 out of 5 times, I'm going with Modest Mouse. There are plenty of other today's bands that would make me choose the same way. But, there's also a lot of today's music that I would choose the Beatles over every single time. That's because there is a lot of trash put out there today. To me, that trash is primarily made up of rap. But there is one thing that I do admire about that trash. The honesty.

Musicians today have absolutely no problem saying exactly what they want and how they're going to get it. They're brutally honest about it to the point where you go, "did they really say that?" On the other hand, the Beatles were liars. No guy in the history of mankind has looked at a girl and thought, "Hmm, I'd really like to hold her hand." No guy has ever nudged a friend, pointed at a girl across the bar and said, "Dude, I would hold her hand so hard. I bet she uses Jergens." That doesn't happen. It doesn't happen now and it didn't happen in 1964. "And please say to me, you'll let me hold your hand." Nope. That wasn't what John and Paul were thinking when they wrote those lyrics. They were lying. No guy wants to hear that. Ever.

Here's what would really happen.
Girl - "Thank you for this drink that will lower my inhibitions."
Boy - "For sure. 100%."
Girl - "I'll let you hold my hand later."
Boy- "Really?"
Girl - "Yep."
Boy - "And then..."
Girl - "What? What do you mean?"
Boy - "Right. Nice turtle neck. I'm going to talk to your friend."

Employment by Air and Sea

It has recently come to my attention that I am unemployed. In order to remedy the situation, I have sent off my resume to many companies in the entertainment field – my so called field of minor expertise-, I have driven around and dropped off resumes at all kinds of places – books stores, restaurants, grocery stores, comedy clubs, etc- and I have told people to do me a favor and hire me. But, I’m still unemployed. I am doing some freelance work to get by, but the fact remains that I am unemployed. The economy sucks and that sucks for people like me. Thus, I am seeking employment from you. Yes, you, the person who found this. Because why the hell not?

While looking at the crap shoot that is sending your resume out, I realized my piece of paper is going against hundreds if not thousands of other pieces of paper in a competeition to get me into the door. Thus, I need to send it out as many times as possible. Then it hit me. I’m only using one element to get my resume out – land. I’m not using water, air or fire. Thus, I have put my resume in a bottle and thrown it out to sea to utilize water. To conquer the air, I have tied my resume to helium balloons and let them fly. Fire seems counter productive, because if I burn my resume no one will be able to read it. I’m skipping that one.


My first attempt with the balloons failed. I let go of the balloons and they flew directly into my neighbor's house and popped. So, I went down the street and launched them from the middle of the park. They flew pretty far. They might still be going, I don't know. Then, I dropped to bottle of the end of Manhattan Beach pier. It kind of just sat around the same spot for a few minutes and I left. I don't know if it went out to sea or if its underneath the pier. Either way, I'm utilizing three of the four elements in my job search.

I will keep you updated with the results of my air and sea employment.