It has recently come to my attention that I am unemployed. In order to remedy the situation, I have sent off my resume to many companies in the entertainment field – my so called field of minor expertise-, I have driven around and dropped off resumes at all kinds of places – books stores, restaurants, grocery stores, comedy clubs, etc- and I have told people to do me a favor and hire me. But, I’m still unemployed. I am doing some freelance work to get by, but the fact remains that I am unemployed. The economy sucks and that sucks for people like me. Thus, I am seeking employment from you. Yes, you, the person who found this. Because why the hell not?
While looking at the crap shoot that is sending your resume out, I realized my piece of paper is going against hundreds if not thousands of other pieces of paper in a competeition to get me into the door. Thus, I need to send it out as many times as possible. Then it hit me. I’m only using one element to get my resume out – land. I’m not using water, air or fire. Thus, I have put my resume in a bottle and thrown it out to sea to utilize water. To conquer the air, I have tied my resume to helium balloons and let them fly. Fire seems counter productive, because if I burn my resume no one will be able to read it. I’m skipping that one.
My first attempt with the balloons failed. I let go of the balloons and they flew directly into my neighbor's house and popped. So, I went down the street and launched them from the middle of the park. They flew pretty far. They might still be going, I don't know. Then, I dropped to bottle of the end of Manhattan Beach pier. It kind of just sat around the same spot for a few minutes and I left. I don't know if it went out to sea or if its underneath the pier. Either way, I'm utilizing three of the four elements in my job search.
I will keep you updated with the results of my air and sea employment.
